6 Reasons Girls Stay Single After Dating A Cray Cray For Too Long

We have all been in some type of relationship, but when you are the one who got sucked into a long term relationship that quickly spun into an unhealthy and suffocating experience, it is hard to get "back in the game". The single life is just too wonderful for us to think about anyone destroying it, again. But it is us, who learn, grow, and become the women that take on the world.

And so, why do we stay single after dating the nut ball for too long? Well,

1. FREEDOM! Tears of joy it is to have freedom. Freedom to do whatever it is without the extended bullshit of the cray cray driving us up the wall.... Freedom has NOT felt better. And when this single life becomes reality, the part of freedom brings tears of joy to the eyes.

2. "I ain't got no time for that": No longer do we listen to his bullshit, negativity, and stress. And so now, why would we want to add someone's issues to our own? No, thanks.

3. On MY own time: After being with a cray cray for so long, the idea of "this is my choice and no one can stand in the way of what I do" is a hallelujah to the ears.

4. The sky is the limit: The idea of being with someone sounds nauseating knowing it's our time to be us. And to make our dreams into reality and our thoughts into actions.

5. Satisfaction: AT LAST. We see the light... no attachments, no concerns, life is once again about us. It is now when we say, "Yes I want him tonight, and only tonight" or "Nah, late night food after the bar sounds better" becomes pure happiness. This is what makes us want to live like this forever.

6. Independence: After experiencing a complete cra(Z)y, we somehow loose track of our independence... this new single independence is what we will make sure to NEVER loose sight of again A.K.A single life will be forever in our hearts.

The end result of a girl who dated a crazy for too long? I quote,

I am on a journey to fulfilling my life with HAPPINESS, INDEPENDENCE AND FREEDOM.

But SOMETIMES we do wonder...


Mount Rushmore, Crazy Horse, Road Trip

A long weekend raised the question, "Why not go somewhere?"

I thought it was a valid question and persuaded my friend to come with me, raising her eyebrow she asks, "Well, what are you thinking?"

"I don't know, a road trip. How about Mount Rushmore?"

Photo: Devin Kathleen
She had no idea that it was in South Dakota, but she was in, as long as I drove.

I started Googling directions, places to stay, what else to do, and soon put the plans into actions.

Totally spur of the moment - but that is the fun of life.

I booked a hotel, got the directions to all the places we could see, and packed the snacks/beverages.

I was ready to go. I picked up Kara, my friend, at 7:30 AM and we were on the road. We went north from Denver and went up the east side of Wyoming. We spent the most time in Wyoming, about five hours. It was a windy ride, to say the least.

A Uhaul that was attached to a pickup truck was flipped over! It was crazy, winds were +65 mph, I was little nervous driving what I call my "go cart", a two-door soft top Jeep Wrangler.

We stopped in Custer, South Dakota and went to "Dakotamart", their version of a supermarket. We stocked up on more snacks and got a case of beer.

We continued to Mount Rushmore and arrived around 2 PM. It was a windy day but not too cold. It was $11 for parking, but no entrance fee, so that is not a bad a deal.

It is incredible to think this monument took 14 years to complete with 400 men working on it. It was completed in 1941. The monument represents the most influential American leaders, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt. Once you have enjoyed the spectacular site, the visitor center shows a short film about the construction and reasons behind building Mount Rushmore. It also has a small museum with artifacts and more information. And of course, it has a gift shop.

We spent a little over an hour at the site, and then headed to the Crazy Horse Monument. At this point we were pretty zonked considering we had an extremely late night the night before, but we were determined to get the most out of time and sucked it up. So we drove about thirty minutes and arrived at Crazy Horse a little before four pm (they close at five). We just made it!

I can't remember the exact fee but you are charged per person to get in. However, your cost is donated directly to completing the monument, so it's a good cause. I am extremely happy we decided to go because it was a fascinating site! Nothing like I expected - first we watched a twenty minute film on the history of the monument, which is an incredible story. Then we took the bus for $4 on a tour around the monument getting a closer view and learning about the area around. It was seriously fascinating, and I am not a fan of museums/tours!

Once we finished we checked out their museum, it was spectacular! Since we got there in the knick of time we just had a enough time to see it all, but I would recommend at least two hours. And there is a cute restaurant outside of the muesum on the patio.

We get in the car and we are hyped up! Crazy Horse woke us up. We head about an hour to Rapid City, South Dakota, which is where the hotel was located. We are thinking that it is going to be a dead town and just hoping there will be a bar, in close proximity, open for us. Well we arrive and this town is hopping! I mean not like NYC but it has some character. I was shocked.

We check in and just breathe for a moment. We drink our beers, take showers, and get ready to check out the town. I wore my yoga pants and chuck shoes, going casual but definitely looking like a tourist. We go to a bar called, Cheers. It was pretty dead. But had some nice music. We have yet to eat a real meal since breakfast, we were famished. We orderedsome food (we had to order from the restaurant next to the bar and they would bring it over) so I sip on my Blue Moon and she sips on her rum and coke while we wait.

We meet these Air Force guys who were literally lingering around us as if they didn't know if they should introduce themselves or not. It was funny. Considering we are the only young females in the bar, there was not much choice. We chat with them and have a good time.

Although they are cute, who said we had time for anything more than a fun tipsy chat? NOT ME!

Well are food never shows up so the drinks hit us faster than we wanted, So we get our food to go since they completely forgot about us. What kind of service is that?

The Air Force boys follow us outside as we are waiting to catch a cab to our hotel, And out of nowhere one of the Air Force guys picks me up and throws me over his shoulder.

This moment was too fast for me to have any idea what was going through my head because the next moment I felt an incredible pain to my head.

He had dropped me.


Right on the left side of my head.  I flew forward and did not have my hands to help, only my knee that slammed the concrete after my head.

My knee had a decent size cut despite that I was wearing yoga pants. I just laid there face flat on the ground, like you have go to be kidding me. This is a first and by all means a LAST. I was just like, "my head..."

We got into a cab immediately and peaced out.

I put some ice on my head that night and I woke up soaking wet since the bag was not fully sealed. It was not the most comfortable morning, with my welt assisted with a ragging headache and a soaking bed.

We got breakfast at the hotel and decided since both our heads were feeling a little ill to check out the brewery in the town. It was a firehouse brewery. It was pretty cool.
We relaxed there until about one and then walked around the town. The stores were mostly American Indian stores, and really cool. We both bought some sage and then decided to get on the road.

I really wanted to check out the Black Hills because that is a breathtaking national forest but we really did not have enough time, we had classes the next day and needed to get back. It is a 6-7 hour drive.

I drove both ways, mostly because I do not trust my friend with my car and I drive fast, so I figured it was best. But I also was doing GPS and the music so I was highly distracted. Anyway I totally forgot to take my turn to go west to Wyoming... so we end up just driving completely south and we see a sign, "Welcome to Nebraska".

I am like WHAT. I pull over and I am like Kara, do you see that? We are in Nebraska... Well she has no idea where we are or how were supposed to go, so she doesn't even know we should be in Wyoming not in Nebraska. I just chuckle with amusement.

I reassure it's fine and try to explain the geography our of own country...! Explaining that we just did not go west, we went south and now we just have to go west and we'll hit Colorado from the west instead of from the north. She was completely confused. I pulled out the map of the United States. I was like you need to know this, as a citizen of the United States... I tried.

Anyway, that is also part of the reason I drive and keep tabs on the directions. We made it a fun time and just went the longer route through Nebraska. She suggested I turn around, I just shook my head.

We made a few stops and did not get back to Denver until 11:30 pm. I was so exhausted. But the experience was wonderful.

On the way we back we stopped at some beautiful views and just enjoyed the wind and freedom it allows you to feel.

South Dakota was the 28th state I have visited. I hope to visit all of the states and experience the beauty each state has to offer. I surely enjoyed South Dakota, and I would go back to see more of this beautiful land in the heart of America.


Where do you find happiness?

Driving for hours in Nebraska we pass this amazing railroad track crossing over a river. I stared at it as I sped by, and I thought to myself, why not? I slow down, make a U turn, pull over to the side over the highway, while my friend in the passenger seat, is having a minor panic attack, wondering if I'm completely insane. Well maybe. We get out of the car and just start running through this field, laughing until we make it onto the railroad. The wind was intensely blowing yet it was so peaceful. We watched the cars go by, as our feet dangled off the tracks hovering over the river, and sat without a worry in the world. A trucker even waved at us. It is in these moments of pure freedom and distance from the outter world that bring me the most happiness in life. Happy Friday!

My Head Might Explode!

Day three of the new quarter and I feel like I should just face plant straight to the floor... my arms out like a T, my book bag on my back, my winter clothes on, not moving. And then just lie there until an undetermined amount of time.

I had a wonderful 6 week break from school to do whatever my heart desired and now all of a sudden day 3 I feel like I could explode?

I spent my break, I thought, wisely: I read some informative books about George Washington, The Kurdistan's, The Doors... I made soaps, I baked everything from homemade pies (blueberry, apple, and pumpkin), cookies (all sorts), brownies, a strawberry short cake, I attempted writing a short fictional story, I helped my step dad with some yard work, I went to two Ravens game, I spent a few nights downtown in Baltimore, I spent a couple evenings in Bel Air where I went to high school, I visited my family in Pennsylvania, I visited my grandmother twice in up state New Jersey, I applied to graduate school, I finished my resume... I thought I made my time useful, but I guess I had no idea what this first week of school would bring.

I always knew since deciding to double major and double minor I would have a tense course load, but I was ready to accept that challenge and make it happen. I am taking a full course load right now 16 credits and about to add 2 more credits totaling my course load to 18 credits this quarter. That is a lot.

On top of that I am coaching girls lacrosse, teaching yoga, working as a writer for RootsRated, and hosting a two hour radio show on Monday evenings...

I am overwhelmed. I knew that I would always have a full course load but I just realized I am short four credits for my communication major! I had calculated and shown a couple advisors my plan and neither me nor the advisors noticed my mistake. I didn't calculate one class that I needed.

I called my mother, of course, because I call her to tell her anything that I need to vent about. And she suggests not finishing the Communication Studies major! And finishing it later if I desired... 

Did she really just suggest that? 

I am thinking, is that a joke? I just spent countless hours working toward this goal to double major and double minor and now you're telling me to forget it? No way. There is no way! I am certain I need to get it done.

And so that is why half of me is extremely overwhelmed. Another part of me is stressing out about my future plans for next year. The other is about my classes I am taking now, I am taking the capstone business class, a law class, a media ethics class, and a digital design class. Plus, doing an internship - if I can get it approved Friday - for 2 credits.

To put a cherry on top of my stress I went to my first "lab" for the digital design class. We are working on Adobe and I am a novice to this site. I am struggling asking the professor questions and it gets to the point where I am falling behind and I don't want to ask anymore questions because I feel like a dumb dumb.

The kid next to me is flying by on step like 25 and I am on step 8. I was too embarrassed to ask what I was doing wrong and so I decided to X-out of Adobe so I could re-do this one step I could not figure out. Long story short I didn't save it so when I went to re-open it up... nothing was there. I had to re-start from scratch.

Tears began creeping to the corners of my eyes. I was so exasperated at myself I just wanted to cry.

I started talking to myself saying, "A senior college student does not cry!" "For pete sakes Devin, get it together!" "Are you seriously getting emotional in front of the professor who wrote you your recommendation letter for graduate school?"

I took a deep breathe, and got myself together.

I left the room to fill up my water and came back with every bone in my body fuming with negative vibes. There was no way I was going to sit there and start over when smarty pants to my right is almost done... this is a two-four hour lab.

I left class wanting to drop it. And I still do.

Problem is, I am on such a tight schedule with classes I need to take in order to graduate this June, I don't think I have the choice to drop it. I am stuck.

I am completely dreading going back into the lab, on my own time, and trying to figure out the damn thing.

In the past three days I have had some unfortunate luck, more than I normally do, I won't go into detail about my other annoying events/unaccepted turmoil that has occurred during the week because I do not want to sound anymore like Negative Nancy over here, so I'll just leave it at this.

Ways to NOT explode!

  • My first go-to: Write - release some tension 
  • Get a planner: At times when we are so overwhelmed with things we have to do, writing everything down and organizing yourself makes them seem less stressful, especially since it's just a cross out on the list. 
  • RELAX: I know. I know. When you're as hyper and tense as me it's extremely hard to relax. (Every time I have been to a masseuse they tell me at least three times to stop tensing my muscles... I just can't help it!!) BUT it is possible... when you breathe. Just sit down, in comfortable clothes, close your eyes if you're feeling real good... and just take some long deep breathes. 
  •  Get a reasonable amount of things done (or look like you did, when you write it out in your planner and then cross them off) and then enjoy yourself. Have a glass of wine and watch a funny show. Or a glass or wine and a book. Or a glass of wine and a friend!... (problem for me right now, I am too lazy to go buy a bottle of wine, but if I had the energy it would be a good possibility)
*I am not saying all my suggestions are the best for you, but for me they have helped. 

Anyway, weekly blog = accomplished


Cheers to the New Year!

It is crazy to think another year is done and it is 2015! This new year is the ending to a four year chapter of my life and an opening to a new chapter of unknown events.

I was asked today what was my New Years resolution. I had to stop and think. I have never made a resolution and taken it seriously. The span of a year does seem like a long time... but then I am just contradicting myself when I say how fast time passes. So I am deciding to have a resolution and stick with until 2016!

I have always journaled in a notebook varying how often I write, but I have not been consistent and never have I journaled on a computer. I like the authenticity of a journal in hand, but my New Year's resolution is to write a blog once a week. That is totally do-able. Even if the blog is short - this is a reasonable goal and will keep this new blog I made up-to-date.

I enjoy writing but I get extremely ADD and find myself distracted doing other things. This resolution can help me focus and be an outlet to expressing what is going on in my crazy high-energized mind.

My advice for the New Year: to surround yourself with those who inspire, motivate, and love. And of course keep traveling!